I hung up a Ted Lasso “Believe” sign at The Daily Orange.

As a fan of the show, I thought it would be good for staff morale but selfishly, it was really for me. A little reminder that I could handle what was in front of me because most days, I didn’t believe it. I never believed I deserved to be DME.

I thought a sign might fix that. I thought any sort of external validation would fix that. But watching analytics climb was never the solution to my insecurity the way I thought it would be and no number of Instagram likes filled that void, either. Neither did a White House internship.

That’s because belief is an inside job. It’s not about shutting people out, a casual “I’m fine” when someone asks you how you’re doing. It’s not about control and having it all together.

Belief is surrender. And, up until now, I thought that meant weakness. When I chose to step back from my role, I thought I was solidifying everything I feared — that I never was good enough to do this. That I was a quitter.

But I know now that’s not true. It’s easy to keep your head down and avoid change. But you know what’s hard? Stepping into the unknown and having faith. That’s belief.

My time at 230 Euclid taught me that. The Daily Orange showed me how to pick myself up and try again, even when it felt like I couldn’t. It’s given me an outlet during my hardest moments. It helped me realize that I’m good enough — I always have been— and I’ll be eternally grateful for that.

I think I’ll leave my sign above the stairs. Maybe it’ll help someone else redefine their worth. Maybe they’ll even be DME. Or maybe it’ll fade into the background and no one will remember me, my sign, or my work.

I think I’m okay with that, though. It was always about more than a sign anyway.

• • •

Stef Mitchell: I wish I could tell you this job is always easy. Truth is, it’s not. It takes a brave person to take it on — to step into the arena with grit and grace — and there’s no doubt in my mind that you are ready. My wish for you is that you will learn what I didn’t learn soon enough: asking for help doesn’t make you weak. You have a network in your corner to pick you up when it feels like you can’t do it for yourself. You are going to do great things, Stef. I have all the faith in the world in you.

Fall ‘23 Digital Assistants: Rise and shine, Digital! Being DME can feel lonely sometimes and, as silly as it may sound, sharing laughs with you all helped me remember that this paper is about more than the noise in my head. Now, at the end of the road, I just wish I said thank you more. Thank you for putting up with my awkward icebreakers, my crazy ideas and all of the edits. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Arlo and Cindy: As a DME, I would have been nothing without a DDD. I was lucky enough to have two! Thank you for your creative drive and hard work this semester. It was great to get to know you.

Fall ‘23 Head Editors: All semester, I’ve marveled at you. Coming up with stories and bringing them to life is no easy feat and each of you did it with finesse. Take a second to reflect on everything you achieved this semester and the good it did. Rest (you’ve certainly earned it) and know that I’m going to remember this semester for the rest of my life. That’s the power of this place.

Mark Nash: Remember when you thought I hated you and then in the middle of July I texted you with no context asking you to make a Barbie story pink? I do! I’m really happy I got to know you better this year and I am glad I get to call you a friend. Keep in touch and take a nap! Go Williams.

Aiden Stepansky: This can feel like thankless work sometimes and I just wanted to make sure you knew I noticed how hard you worked every single day. You’ve only scratched the surface of what you are capable of, kid. Run it back, say that and Go Patriots.

Rachel Raposas: My Culture queen! I’m so grateful you took a chance to hire me when I was a freshman. You pushed me as a writer and editor and I attribute so much of my growth to what I learned from you. I can’t wait to watch where you go next and where your life takes you.

Kate Kelley: I believe in surrounding myself with people who help me be the best version of myself and you, my friend, are that. You’ve made me laugh on the toughest production nights but also aren’t scared to call me on my BS. It’s made me a better person. Thanks for spontaneously going to Noah Kahan and singing just as loud as I did. Don’t forget about me in your cool New York City era, and save me a spot on the couch so I can come visit.

Ronnie: From the moment you complimented my Bill Belichick shirt, I had a feeling I met a friend I’d want for life. Thank you for all the times you talked me off the ledge this semester. Thank you for making me laugh and bringing a little New England to the 315 when I needed it the most.

Hailey: I’m sorry for never being home. I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I do know this though, I’m beyond grateful for it. Since freshman year, you’ve brought so many moments of laughter and happiness that it feels like we’ve known each other forever. I’m glad we started talking out of nowhere on the quad freshman year. Thank you for being my best friend.

Culture Fall ‘22: Rachel, Anthony, Sophia, Shantel, Ofentse and Kate — you are the people who made 230 Euclid feel like home. Reading my old stories from when I first started as an assistant, I realize I am a different writer than I was then. I know that’s because I had you behind me, encouraging me to experiment and cheering me on every step of the way. I love you all.

Anthony Bailey: My first impression of you was that you and I wouldn’t get along. Where I was energetic, you were calm, where I was harsh, you were gentle. I thought we had nothing in common, but I was wrong. Instead, I found someone who’s just as big of a classical music nerd as me and will watch the Corpse Bride waiting for stories to file. I missed having one of my favorite people around this semester. Thanks for the late-night phone calls this semester when I needed my co-executive chef most.

Hank O’Brien: I remember when you asked me to be DME. I said I didn’t think I was qualified and you said, “Of course you are.” It’s occurring to me now, you were the first person who made me believe I could do this and changed the game for me. You answered every text and call and were always there for a cup of coffee when I needed to talk. And, when I was deciding if it was time to move on, you were there for that too, showing me what it looked like to choose myself. Thank you H.O.B. – for everything.

Kyle: Thanks for knowing when I needed to close the office door. I don’t remember when it happened, but somewhere along the way you chipped away at my bubbly exterior and gave me a safe place to talk when this job was taking its toll. I’ve never thanked you for the top-tier hugs or the way you always know what to say when I am hurting. It’s OK to take breaks, Kyle. You aren’t a machine. Remember that while you’re giving yourself to everyone, pause and do the same for yourself. Please don’t forget me when you’re off saving the world and bringing down the bad guys.

Anish: You see potential in the ordinary, Anish. You approach situations with a lens of opportunity, seeing what something could become with a little work, and it brings out the best in people. It brought out the best in me. I look up to you and Kyle so much, as journalists and as people, and stepping into a management team alongside such talent made me nervous. But knowing you wanted to have me there changed everything. I did the math and the three of us have spent over 500 hours together this semester. 500! That’s a lot of late nights, apparently jokes, hamster dance scatting and laughing with two of my favorite people I’ve ever known. If I could do it again, I’d take 500 more. I’m proud of the work we did as a team and I am honored to have been your DME to have a front-row seat to watch you thrive as Editor-in-Chief.

Anabellie: It’s December and you’re doing your birthday countdown for me and I’m smiling like a dork thinking about how much it means to me. How much you mean to me. Being your sister is a privilege, one that I probably take for granted sometimes. Thank you for always picking up the phone. For making me laugh and never judging me. Thank you for being brave, fighting like hell and never giving up on yourself. You inspire me every single day. I love you.

Mama & Dada: I wouldn’t be able to sit here and write this if I didn’t have you. I never would have stepped foot in the DO or attended Syracuse without your support. From letting me start piano in kindergarten to all the late drives to Stageloft (even with our snowy curse, Dada!!!), you’ve always encouraged me to dream big. Thank you for believing in me and loving me unconditionally, even when I am struggling. Thank you for reading every story I send you. Thank you for making sacrifices so Anabel and I never went without. Being your daughter is a gift that I am grateful for every single day. I love you both more than you’ll ever know.

Here’s to a new adventure.

Published on December 7, 2023 at 2:36 am