“Hey, Juliet? You up?” Romeo asks, beckoning his beloved from beneath her balcony.

The theater community has started having nightmares. Why? The Oregon Shakespeare Festival just announced that it commissioned 36 playwrights to rewrite all of Shakespeare’s masterworks into modern English.

Cue uproarious backlash. The theater community, understandably, thinks this project is a horrible idea, claiming it sets a frightening precedent and degrades Shakespeare’s brilliant work.

The general public has its concerns too. The festival’s Facebook page was littered with sarcastic comments like: “Why not just rewrite Shakespeare in emoticons and acronyms?” and “Is there really a need to translate English into Brain Dead American?”

Like it or not, old English is basically a foreign language. Translating Shakespeare so that young people can understand the storylines does not degrade his work, nor does it mean his originals will go unappreciated. On the contrary, this project will bring people closer to his stories.

Still, not everyone is sold.

“Shakespeare is about the intoxicating richness of the language,” said James Shapiro, an English professor at Columbia University, in an interview with Oregon Public Broadcasting. “It’s like the beer I drink. I drink 8.2 percent IPA, and by changing the language in this modernizing way, it’s basically shifting to Bud Light.”

Shapiro’s analogy actually illustrates an important pro-rewrite fact: the modified version will not be a replacement to the sophisticated original, but a second, more down-to-earth option. Respect kids’ right to drink cheap beer and enjoy a Shakespeare they can understand.

This project is not to be dismissed by theatrical and literary elite. Rewriting masterpieces is a serious and intimidating task. No pressure, but playwrights are required to pay as close attention to rhyme, rhythm, metaphor and rhetoric in the rewrites as Shakespeare did in the originals.

The project’s number one rule is “do no harm.” The contemporary works will not be adaptations, nor will they simplify Shakespeare’s layered storylines. There will be no Facebook references and Hamlet will never breathe the words “on fleek.” Rewriters cannot cut, edit or add personal politics to the works, nor are they empowered to change settings or time periods.

Shakespeare is not exactly a beach read, and there is no shame in not understanding. Even OSF’s savvy director of literary development and dramaturgy, Lue Douthit, admitted she does not understand it all the time.

She is not alone. In fact, for centuries, dedicated Shakespeareans have criticized his complicated, confusing language for mucking up his brilliant works.

After 400 years, fluent speakers have come to unknowingly misinterpret Shakespeare’s English. For example, the famous line “Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo” is commonly misinterpreted because “wherefore” is thought to mean “where.”

An expert rewrite would teach theatergoers that the line is not asking, “Where are you Romeo,” but, “Why are you Romeo,” lamenting the fact that Romeo was of a rival family. Translations would clarify these mix ups and better communicate Shakespeare’s story to a contemporary audience.

The point of this project is to provide a new way for young people — and let’s face it, older generations too — to appreciate Shakespeare’s beloved texts.

The Oregon Shakespeare Festival does not intend to demean Shakespeare. In fact, this project does quite the opposite. Its efforts will make his plays more accessible, inclusive and relevant. It celebrates Shakespeare by helping audiences to truly understand his stories instead of just pretending to.

Alison Gala is a senior public relations major and Spanish minor. Her column appears weekly. She can be reached at [email protected] and followed on Twitter @alison_gala.

Published on October 11, 2015 at 6:38 pm