When I first heard of a blow job, I was 12 years old, clad with braces and a bad haircut, sitting in 5th period band class.

Don’t read into that statement too much.

I was in the first row, holding my flute, when my friend Stephanie posed the question, “Spit or swallow?”

“Spit or swallow, what?”

When you’re the oldest in the family, you are often naïve. Parents aren’t going to sit their middle school children down to explain the art of giving head, and without any older siblings as a reference, I was left sitting in band wondering if she meant the gum I was chewing that was starting to lose its flavor.

But years later, when fellatio actually becomes something of concern, “spit or swallow” is no longer a childhood jest. No, “spit or swallow” becomes a personal code of conduct by which many people become adamant.

Personally, I am a disciple in the practice of swallowing. And while I fully support the idea that there is no real right or wrong answer when it comes to how you choose to engage with someone sexually, I find that spitting can be tiresome. The odds that there is a conveniently located trashcan next to you every time you go down on a guy is rare, even more rare is there being a toilet where you can flush away the remains. Unless sensuality in stalls is your thing, you’re left desperately looking around to find a place to spit the goo.

Furthermore, if you mutually decide he will not ejaculate in your mouth at all, it’s still quite the affair to figure out where or when he should do so. Isn’t it easier to just close your eyes and gulp? We’ve all likely consumed worse substances.

At the end of the day, no man should ever complain about whichever choice you make — you did just finish him off and his brain is probably elsewhere.

In fact, all that he should do is thank you — regardless of your semen consumption choice — by returning the favor, because sex is all about everyone feeling good.

Cheers.

Alex Archambault is a sophomore newspaper and online journalism major. You can email her at [email protected] or follow her @Alex_And_Raa on Twitter.

Published on October 19, 2015 at 9:56 pm