I was almost certain I had no gum in my suitcase. It was not on my pre-departure shopping list and my mom even asked me if my pockets were clear before I boarded my flight. Yet there it was — an unopened container of Eclipse in the hands of a security guard during a random baggage check. My heart sank.

Gum is one of many banned substances in Singapore. Importing it is illegal, and only a licensed pharmacist may sell it. You’re allowed to chew it, though it is explicitly intended for medicinal and dental health purposes. According to the National Library Board, this decade-old law was designed to reduce littering, specifically on costly public transit.

Luckily, my gum was tossed without any sort of verbal exchange, merely a scowl and a headshake of disapproval. To this day, I have no idea how that gum managed to find its way into my bag.

Obeying the unusual laws in this country is not a terribly difficult task. In fact, being fully cognizant of them is surely the only way to keep yourself out of trouble. But many of Singapore’s rules and regulations are rather silly, serving as self-evident reminders that this place is quite finicky about particular activities. Around almost every corner, you see signs, posters and adverts encouraging you not to urinate in elevators, to always flush public toilets and not to bring durians — a type of stinky, Malaysian fruit — on the bus. Otherwise, you’ll be fined.

Legal dogma has even found its way into the privacy of one’s own home. A law forbids walking around nude in one’s bedroom, as well as possessing pornography and sex toys. Even having an unpopular opinion could cost you, and making any negative comments about an individual’s religious beliefs, known as sedition, is prohibited.

One thing I have been constantly reminded to do is to keep my hands to myself at all times. Trains and buses are full of notices about molestation plastered everywhere. “Don’t get rubbed the wrong way,” they read. Initially, I assumed public molestations did not occur fairly often, but boy, was I wrong. It’s one of the most reported crimes each month — however, many cases are false accusations where women attempt to milk cash out of businessmen and other white-collar workers.

Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to avoid brushing against someone’s limbs or torso. During post-work rush hour, the buses are so full with people that no one can move their bodies in any direction.

But most Singaporeans laugh at these laws, focusing on those that are more seriously enforced, such as misusing the Internet. In the U.S., we’re used to downloading music, movies, books and games online for free. Illegal? Technically, yes. Monitored? Hardly.

In Singapore, downloading one song could land you in jail for months and entail paying huge fines. Websites inciting violence and featuring obscene content are banned. Other common crimes committed online include violating copyright law and connecting to an unsecured Wi-Fi access point without requesting permission from the owner. Failure to do so is considered hacking.

The corporal punishment of choice in Singapore is caning — consisting of a number of hits, known as strokes or cuts, normally with a cane made of rattan, usually applied to an offender’s backside. There are many crimes worthy of the cane, but the most commonly referenced is vandalism. Crimes such as murder, rape, drug trafficking and kidnapping will earn you a one-way ticket to execution via hanging.

The weirdest part? You rarely see police. Singaporeans say that if you ever spot an officer out and about, take a picture. Believe it or not, this place is practically run by cameras, both government official and amateur. Citizens are urged to publicize any crime they witness on video sharing websites and social networks.

If something feels illegal, it doesn’t hurt to ask a native. In a country where you can walk around freely with alcohol at all times of the day, but can’t even feed the birds at the park, it’s not hard to figure out why they call this place “The Fine City.”

Stay classy, Singapore.

Zachary Gipson is a senior majoring in economics and linguistics. He is striving to fit in with the fast-paced locals of Singapore. To chat about life abroad, shoot him an email at [email protected].

 

Published on February 3, 2015 at 12:01 am