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Schweikert: Columnist picks college over winter break

There’s nothing quite like finishing that last final. You’re writing like a maniac, BSing the last part of your essay about checks and balances and the role of media in democracy and the first breath of the professor’s final words breaks the silence. Everyone puts down their pencils and Winter Break has begun. That’s when I get excited. Why?

Because it’s Winter Break, for goodness sake! The tests are over, they were cake. I won’t be stressed, I’ll have no tests; with time to sleep, I will be blessed. No more crunch time, no more deadlines, I won’t have to look for my newspaper headlines. My folks will appear in the Honda outside, I’ll be so dang happy that I know I’ll cry. I’ll pack up my stuff — in the trunk it will go — and we’ll race towards New Jersey ahead of the snow. The radio blasting those songs that I hate — yes, the season is coming, but I’d rather wait. With wreathes and lights, my house will be decked. I’d say “Christmas trees,” but that term’s not correct.

It’s not Santa, nor cookies that make break the best, it’s the fact that now I can finally rest. So I’ll sleep! I’ll sleep and I’ll nap and I’ll slumber. I’ll forget about credits and debits and numbers. I’ll veg out for days, for weeks on end. And I’ll hang out with all of those high school friends. And I’ll go to the movies, and spend lots of money. Unlike in the ‘Cuse, the skies will be sunny. I’ll play my guitar, I won’t fear being noisy. Good lord, I can’t wait to be back in New Joisey.

For two or three weeks, I’ll sleep in every day. I’ll eat tons of food. I won’t care what I weigh. I won’t have any homework. I’ll be super lazy. I can do all the stuff that would likely seem crazy. I won’t shower, or bathe. I’ll drink straight out the carton. I won’t worry ‘bout girls, or parties or Barton’s. I’ll be perfectly happy, at least for a while, and affixed to my face will be a huge smile.

I’ll see my family and that will be nice. I’ll probably go without checking MySlice. One week will go by, but it seems more like four. And then I’ll realize — this is kind of a bore.



I’ll miss my roommate, my dorm and my friends, and I’ll start to wish break would come to an end. A month’s a long time, and it goes by real slow. I’ll get sick of the cookies and men made of snow. Time ticks away at its sluggish, snail pace, and I’ll be ready to get the heck out of this place.

I’ll miss bad peanut butter and stale moldy bread. I’ll miss squirming around my uncomfortable bed. I’ll miss cooking ramen at 2 in the morning, and not caring at all about DPS warnings. I’ll miss freezing my toes off when I wait for the bus. I’ll miss disappointment when I get a C plus. I’ll miss being broke and not eating breakfast. I’ll miss not having a homework checklist. I’ll miss being addressed as an Orange Friend — or maybe I won’t, but those e-mails won’t end.

Winter break can get boring, and gets boring fast. On the flipside, college is often a blast. But a part of me misses the old struggle bus, because college ain’t college unless part of it sucks.

Zach Schweikert is a sophomore advertising major. He has thoroughly enjoyed writing this column. If you can find all of the hidden Pulp Fiction references in most of his pieces, he’ll buy you coffee. His column appears every Thursday in Pulp. He can be reached at [email protected]





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