According to a study published by NerdWallet last week, about 77 percent of people in a relationship think men should pay the check on the first date.

Women want political, social and economic equality. So why are the majority of women expecting men to pay for their dates? This is a setback to the feminist movement. If we want true equality, we should start splitting the bill.

In hetero-courtship, there is a deep-rooted tradition of the man initiating and paying for dates. Though this can be seen as chivalrous, this is actually a double standard dressed up and repackaged.

I’m not saying men should stop holding doors open for women — that’s something every person should do for one another regardless of sex. But expecting the man to pull out his credit card at the end of the date is not only unfair, but also antiquated.  

As women, we want equality in sexes yet are reluctant to change the game when it is in our favor. When we are benefitting from a traditional gender role, there is less talk on changing. But we are better than this. Taking a less progressive stance when women benefit is hypocritical and not beneficial to the feminist argument.

Women now make up 40 percent of the breadwinners for households with children under-18, compared to 11 percent in 1960, according to a Pew Research Poll conducted in 2013. Women are becoming more and more financially independent and this should reflect when paying for dates. If we talk the talk of feminism, we need to walk the walk and start putting our money where our mouth is.

Claiming equality for all and then expecting men to pay could also confuse men on feminist ideals. How can we expect men to support equality if we are still perpetuating traditional dating norms? This gives a whole new meaning to mixed signals and dating.  

But, this doesn’t mean women should start paying for all dates. According to a Sept. 12 NPR article, Steven Petrow, a civilities columnist for the Washington Post, says the inviter should be the payer.

Which means yes, women, we should initiate dates as well.

Men and women should have manners and respect each other, but financial chivalry should not play a role in dating. In the NPR article, Petrow explains how the shifting gender roles change social etiquette, but basic manners such as holding a door open should be applied to both sexes.  

When it comes to pulling out a chair or helping take a coat off, Petrow said to NPR, “Respect, kindness and civility. Guys, ask yourself, ‘Does it fit into one of those three?’ and if it does, then you’re cool.”

There is a difference between civility and sexism. Civility should remain, but women footing the bill can make modern dating less sexist and more progressive. No more old rules — let’s split the check and the accountability.  

Julia Smith is a junior newspaper and online journalism and sociology dual major. Her column appears weekly. She can reached at [email protected] and followed on Twitter @jcsmith711.

Published on September 23, 2014 at 12:08 am