Fall break has started, and all the frantic traveling has taken me far away from Florence to a homey hostel in Budapest. I’m almost completely cut off from other students and my host family.

Being so far from the connections I’ve made in Italy is definitely a challenge. But it also makes me think about how badly travelers, including myself, have wanted to forge new friendships with those who are native to the places we continue to visit.

It’s not surprising why making these strong connections is so tough. We don’t share a common culture or language, but also many natives try to not get too attached to foreigners because, whether it’s in one week or three months, they’ll eventually leave.

When looking for places to hang out, our top priority is often to find a place with the fewest tourists. And that’s hard to find in local nightclubs, restaurants and bars. The school offers several programs to work with this, such as a weekly meet-up to talk with native students — but that’s typically not enough.

I’ve certainly experienced this. Early on, I met a girl from the University of Florence, with whom I actually shared a few interests. These included a love for talking politics and enthusiastically comparing the flaws of American and Italian government while practicing our Italian and English.

After talking, she gave me her phone number and email so we could talk more. She never responded.

A few weeks later, I set up a time to meet with two Italian high school girls, Bianca and Alessandra, through one of my school’s programs. When we met, they talked about some of the politics of the education system in Italy and a student protest I’d seen earlier.

That time, I thought things would be different, since they were much more enthusiastic. We managed to keep in contact for a while, but their schedules never seemed to allow for a second meeting.

Being unable to establish a long-lasting friendship with a local has been a regular frustration for my classmates and me. As the possibility for this type of relationship kept looking more bleak, I began to wonder why it was so important to me.

Like all the other students, I’m trying really hard to hold onto my experience while abroad. I feel my time here is brief, and being able to make these friendships will keep the experience alive when I leave. It’d be a string connecting me back to the country, keeping a part of me immersed in the culture.

I’m starting to realize that the trick is to not feel too attached to Florence while we’re here, but rather to hold onto the memories we’ll bring back.

If someone puts too much focus on trying to connect with the people, they may forget to actually enjoy their experience. They’ll go home feeling regretful about not staying in touch instead of remembering all the great times they had together. It’s tough to not get too attached to Florence, but since we all need to return home at some point, it’s risky if we do.

The locals seem to understand this much more than we do, and they’re trying to keep us from making the mistake of getting attached.

So I’d advise focusing less on how you’ll stay connected to the place you are in, and more on just making the most of your time there. That’s something I feel I did when I talked with those local students, even if we were just swapping ideas and opinions on our countries’ politics.

Max Antonucci is a junior newspaper and online journalism major. His column appears every Tuesday in Pulp. Visit his website at www.MaxwellAntonucci.com, find him on Twitter at @DigitalMaxToday or email him at [email protected].

Published on October 28, 2013 at 10:51 pm