Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” is known for it’s fiery cast of female “housewives.” In the past, the show’s main selling point has been the excessive amount of drama, but the focus has recently shifted to one New Jersey housewife in particular. Melissa Gorga, one of the cast’s most drama involved and diva driven women, recently released a book titled “Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage.”

The book was released in mid September and instantly received a substantial amount of backlash. Gorga’s book was quoted on blogs all over the Internet and created a large amount of buzz. Her view of marriage poses as a serious concern for women all over — it demeans what the relationship between a man and women should represent.

Jezebel, an online blog, wrote an extensive entry about the implications of Gorga’s book. The post argues that the book’s content advocates oppressive marriages, where males dominate the relationship. Jezebel also pointed out that the book’s underlying message condones marital rape. With quotes like the following, it’s hard to refute Jezebel’s claim:

“Men, I know you think your woman isn’t the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says ‘no,’ turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.”

The content of Gorga’s book is riddled with messages like the one above. She states that wives need to be in shape for their men, try new things in bed and behave seductively in order for their husbands to stick around. She also wrote that cleaning the house, running errands and making dinner keeps her humble in her marriage.

Melissa is not the only one who wrote in the book; her husband chimed in and gave some advice as well. When it came to discussing his role in raising his children, he said, “I don’t feed babies, or change the diapers. My father never wiped my ass, and I don’t wipe my babies’ either.”

He also discussed how he treats his sons in relation to how he treats his daughter, saying that he will let his sons come and go from the house as they please, but when his daughter gets older, he plans on being “strict and overprotective.” He wrote, “I know it’s a double standard but I just don’t care! I don’t see it so much as restricting Antonia, but as protecting her.”

The most concerning part of Gorga’s book release is that her repressive marriage affects more than her own life, because it is being marketed as a “Guide to Love.” It also falsely categorizes Italian marriages as controlling and as oppressive relationships.

But Gorga has fired back at the media, defending her book and arguing Jezebel’s blog was unjust in claiming her book promoted marital rape. She pointed out that the excerpts on her sex life have been wrongly perceived and that “Fans of “Fifty Shades of Grey” (could) attest that there’s a difference between racy and ‘rapey.’”

Though there may be a difference, separated by a thin line, Gorga did not clearly explain that in her book. Her argument should have been clearly stated, not a means of refutation after the fact. Aside from attempting to clear both her marriage and book’s reputation, she did not discuss her husband’s contributions.

His excerpts, more so than hers, make it clear that he sees their relationship in a very controlled manner. His wife is his trophy and handles the household while he is busy fulfilling the duties of a man: bringing home the money.

Melisa Gorga’s book is a shocking realization of how much influence a person in the media can have. Gorga, though certainly not an A-List star, has a great deal of influence in the industry. She could have approached writing this book in a completely different manner, but instead filled it with paragraph after paragraph of content that encourages the submissive relationships of wives to their husbands.

Paris Bethel is a junior advertising major. Her column appears weekly. She can be reached at [email protected].

Published on October 6, 2013 at 2:37 am