It’s fitting that an over-the-top criticism from one of your earliest movies can be applied to your latest projects, Mr. Adam Sandler.

The movies you’ve just made are some of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in their rambling, incoherent plotlines were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having seen them. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Sandler needs to get his act together and start making good comedies again. It’s painful how bad his movies have become.

Sandler had an incredible run of movies in the mid to late nineties, which set a standard of comedic excellence that he has failed miserably to live up to in the past five years. Unfortunately, this downward skid will most likely continue with “Grown Ups 2,” set for release this July.

He’s gone from the eternally quotable “Billy Madison” (1994) and “Happy Gilmore” (1996) to the woefully forgettable “Jack and Jill” (2011) and “That’s My Boy” (2012). He’s declined from fighting Bob Barker to dressing in drag; from Chris Farley guest starring to Rex Ryan cameos — it’s been quite the fall from comedic grace.

“You Don’t Mess With the Zohan” (2008), marks the turning point. Since “Zohan,” it’s been one lackluster comedy after the next. Some are family films, like “Bedtime Stories” (2008), while others have more adult content, like “Funny People” (2009). Yet none of them even come close to, say, “The Wedding Singer” (1998).

It’s a damn shame that his movies have gotten so bad considering how hilarious his older films are. Growing up, Sandler’s movies greatly affected how my own sense of humor developed. They were some of my favorites as a kid and remain so to this day.

People still habitually recite the hilarious lines of his projects. Whether it’s talking about how cool you are — “If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis” — or discussing what activity to do with a friend — “What? Friends listen to ‘Endless Love’ in the dark” — these movies continue to be quoted like they’re currently in theatres.

I can only fathom two explanations for the plummeting quality of Sandler’s movies.

Sandler is broke, so he’s making any and every movie he can to try and make money, regardless of how terrible it is.

Or, Sandler is so loaded that it doesn’t really matter how much money his movies gross. This option is more likely.

His latest movies have followed a simple formula. He has fun making movies with his buddies, so he casts them in supporting roles. Then he chooses from a perpetual rotation of hot actresses who take turns playing his love interests.

Sandler’s girl in “Zohan” was Emmanuelle Chriqui, better known as Sloan on “Entourage” (2004). In 2010, she was voted the most desirable woman on the planet by AskMen.com.

“Grown Ups” (2010) featured Salma Hayek as Sandler’s wife, and she’s returning in the sequel this summer.

In “Just Go With It” (2011), Sandler must choose between Brooklyn Decker and Jennifer Aniston.

Man, some guys have it hard.

It’s agonizing how bad his movies have become. Seeing one crappy movie release after the other is like watching your favorite athlete get worn down over time. But the thing is, the ability to play a sport naturally deteriorates as you get older. The ability to make people laugh should not, and that’s what’s so frustrating.

Every successful comedian has had flops, but there’s no justification for Sandler’s awful streak of movies during the last five years.

Sandler is rightfully considered a comedic icon and remains one of my greatest comedy heroes. He’s earned this title, but now must work to keep it.

James O’Hare is a senior history and political science major. This is his last column. Hooray!

Published on April 30, 2013 at 1:45 am