Women face significant pressure to “have it all,” but sometimes that’s not what they want.

For the modern woman, this phrase typically means having both a successful career and a family. However, there has been much debate concerning the reality of achieving this.

One of the most influential voices in this debate comes from Anne-Marie Slaughter, a Princeton University professor and former director of policy planning at the U.S. State Department. She published a piece in The Atlantic last summer about her experience balancing her demanding career and family.

She concluded women still can’t “have it all” because the workplace has yet to adjust to the needs of a working mother. But, Slaughter argues, being an empowered woman does not mean you have to have a career and a family.

History has demonstrated that women have had to choose between acquiring a career and a family. Women have fought the societal prejudice of working outside of the home, a barrier that has encouraged them to become housewives after they marry.

A friend of mine recently expressed a similar sentiment to Slaughter’s. After she has kids, she told me she wishes to quit her future job and stay at home to raise her family. Having both a career and a family is not something she desires. When she shared her future plans with her women’s and gender studies class, many of her classmates expressed disapproval of her choice.

To her classmates, it seemed retrogressive that a woman should choose to be a stay-at-home mother when, a few decades ago, societal standards dictated women stay at home when she has kids.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the participation of women in the labor force was 34 percent in 1950. In 2000, the percentage of women participating in the labor force rose to 60 percent.

During last year’s presidential election, Ann Romney was criticized for not working a day in her life. She stated her career of choice was being a mother, and that the American people should respect the choices women make. There aren’t many instances in which I find myself agreeing with a Romney, but in this instance, I agree we should respect the choices women make.

Women should not have to worry about society imposing judgment on this issue when men are almost never expected to choose between being a father and having a career. They are rarely criticized for not being more present in their children’s lives.

Pinterest boards created by college-age individuals are often filled with plans for future weddings, decor for future houses and clothes for future children. Getting married, owning a house and having kids aren’t on my list of priorities because I don’t believe these aspirations will make me happy. But others will always feel the opposite. Having it all shouldn’t mean the same thing for all women.

Rahimon Nasa is a sophomore magazine journalism and international relations major. Her column appears weekly. She can be reached at [email protected] and followed on Twitter at @rararahima.

 

Published on February 25, 2013 at 1:32 am