Female porcupines use wooden sticks: Spikey friends don’t care. Male kangaroos perform some rib-cracking to get a good suck of themselves: No judgment. Boys get a “Rub and a Tug” at a massage parlor when they visitNew York City: Good for them.

The Gossard Big M Study reveals 92 percent of women masturbate: Cue en-mass fainting episode.

Female masturbation is one of the last taboos, along with Michelle Obama admitting to having a sex dream about Mitt Romney. But given that sex is everywhere, what is the big deal about sticking your hands down your pants and telling people about it? Carli Blau, a 2007 alumnus and creator of justblaume.com, thinks masturbating is still seen as something dirty.

“We’re pleasuring ourselves and being sexually active. Masturbating is associated with porn, sex and foreplay, and people look down on it,” she said.

Blau’s right about the shame-factor: When was the last time you used the word masturbate, or equivalent, in public without lowering your voice? There’s no need to keep your vibrator in your pencil case, but there’s no need to be coy about it either.

Just take Love Joule, a new bar in the Shibuya district of Tokyo, where dildos and vibrators sit side by side with liquor bottles. Love Joule serves as a “safe zone” for women to talk about masturbation, and men are barred unless they are accompanying a female. Tough luck, boys.

But would you pop into Love Joule if a new bar in Syracuse really tried to mix things up? Given that 92 percent of women and 95 percent of men are poking and jerking in everyday life, it doesn’t seem like too wild an idea.

“I think the idea of a ‘masturbation bar’ is fabulous, and I think we should have one here,” Blau said.

Love Joule’s success comes in the wake of a mini “sex revolution” in Japan, Dr. Ikuko Ikeshita, who works at the Ikeshita Ladies’ Clinic, told ZakZak magazine.

“Traditionally, whenever a female patient would come in with a problem like having a sex toy get stuck, hospital staff would look at them coldly,” she said. “Now people realize that it’s just something that happens.”

While storing a dildo inside you isn’t to be encouraged, using a sex toy during intercourse and masturbation is normal: Half of U.S. women use a vibrator to masturbate, researchers at Indiana University found. Around 20 percent of men use some buzz on their own, and nearly half of men have used a vibrator during sex with a partner, research by Trojan found. Blau thinks some men might feel “emasculated” by a sex toy, but they should view it as the perfect way to help their girlfriend orgasm.

“I know plenty of women who do it, and believe it or not, most men think it’s hot to watch, especially if they can be involved,” she said.

So while Schine Dining Hall might not be ready for a lunchtime “dildo discussion committee,” why not “sanitize” masturbation by being more open about it in casual conversation?

“I think vibrators are taboo because they’re seen to be sex toys: dirty, slutty, promiscuous,” Blau said. “But at the end of the day, I don’t know a woman who has one who doesn’t love it.”

Vibrator aren’t dirty, unless you don’t clean them, so if your sex life has taken a dip, become the king or queen of getting yourself off. Or if you’re just kind of curious, make the most of not living with your parents and buy a sex toy. Just make sure you’re home when FedEx delivers: You don’t want a sneaky porcupine stealing your sh*t.

Iona Holloway is a senior magazine and psychology dual major. She wonders how vibrating vodka would make her feel. Contact her at [email protected] or follow her on twitter @ionaholloway

Published on October 10, 2012 at 12:37 am