2.5/5 Popcorns

Remakes and sequels have been all the rage in Hollywood lately. If studios can’t come up with new film ideas, they just reuse old ones — with very mixed results. The latest concept brought back from the dead was 1990 sci-fi classic, “Total Recall.”

The original starred Arnold Schwarzenegger in a pulpy thrill ride, blending trippy sci-fi elements with sarcastic, profanity-laced humor. The remake, on the other hand, is a straightforward action movie without a heart.

This time around, there’s no fight for air supply on Mars. Instead, this version is all about the power struggle for living space on a desolate Earth.

The year is 2084. Earth has been decimated by WWIII, and the only two habitable regions left are the United Federation of Britain and The Colony, located in the remnants of Europe and Australia, respectively. Every day thousands of people, including average factory worker Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), commute between sectors on The Fall, a high-speed gravity elevator that rockets back and forth through the Earth’s core.

Quaid is bored and unhappy, despite having a smoking-hot wife (Kate Beckinsale), so he seeks out Rekall, a company that implants artificial memories. When the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid finds himself on the run and realizing everything he thought he knew about his life was a lie. He meets Melina (Jessica Biel), an acquaintance from his former life, and together they work to uncover what’s really going on.

The modern incarnation features striking dystopian cityscapes and scene after scene of adrenaline-pumping chases, fights and shootouts.  The big budget production is a visual treat, even though all its best aspects are borrowed from other sci-fi films.

The bleak, Asian-infused slums of The Colony are alive with bright neon colors in revamped “Blade Runner”-style landscapes. The synthetic troops of maniacal chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston) closely resemble the androids from “I, Robot.” Then there are reckless hover car chases, a page right out of the “Minority Report” playbook.

Director Len Wiseman (“Underworld” and “Live Free or Die Hard”) knows how to shoot fast-paced action sequences set against dazzling CGI backgrounds, but he needed to improve in the plot department. Where the original had high-concept twists and mind games, the remake is utterly predictable. “Total Recall” muddles through its story with blazing explosions, some cool sci-fi gadgets and bullets. So many bullets.

The performances leave a lot to be desired, but the actors do their best with two-dimensional roles and flat dialogue. Many lines reappear from the original, but without any of the original’s witty attitude. Farrell growls, “If I’m not me, then who the hell am I?” Yet his blank-faced intensity just isn’t as entertaining as Schwarzenegger’s bombastic Austrian accent. Colin Farrell is a likable enough lead, yet despite dominating the screen, his performance wasn’t particularly memorable.

Beckinsale and Biel co-star as dueling eye candies who can also kick some ass. Beckinsale’s bad girl is all icy stares and flexible kicks versus Biel’s heroine as they face off time and again in tight leather pants. Cranston’s Cohaagen is a serviceable villain, but this uncomplicated role pales in comparison to the veteran actor’s brilliant turn as Walter White on “Breaking Bad.” The three-breasted woman makes a very brief cameo, but this quick homage doesn’t do justice to her iconic predecessor.

The film wants viewers to believe, in true clichéd fashion, that this might all be a dream. Has Quaid been sitting in aRekall chair living out a secret agent fantasy this whole time?

Maybe so — you’ll have to watch to find out. The problem is that by the end of this deceptively simplistic sci-fi thriller, it’s hard to care.

As a stand-alone action film without much substance, “Total Recall” doesn’t disappoint. But compared with the more complex and mind-bendingly clever original, this is an unimaginative popcorn flick with a lot of wasted potential.

Published on August 12, 2012 at 12:09 pm

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