2/5 Popcorns

Snow White may be the fairest of them all, but in this dark, gritty take on the classic Disney fable, Kristen Stewart isn’t even fairly decent.

‘Snow White and the Huntsman’ is loaded with imposing sets and eye-popping special effects. Yet this dazzling stage is wasted on a rushed, chaotic storyline and uninspired performances, which leave this gloomy fairy-tale a forgettable mess.

Directed by Rupert Sanders in a questionable leap from helming commercials to a summer blockbuster,’Huntsman’ is bogged down by uneven pacing and a painfully under-acted performance from its lead – the emotionless Stewart.

Stewart stars as the titular maiden princess, locked in a tower cell since childhood by maniacal witch-queen Ravenna, played by Charlize Theron. The evil sorceress tricks Snow White’s father into marriage before slaying the unsuspecting king, conquering his castle and taking his throne.

After stabbing her guard in the eye with a rusty nail, Snow White escapes the castle but finds herself lost in a haunted forest. The queen hires a drunken huntsman, played by Chris Hemsworth of ‘Thor’ fame, to track her down. Naturally, the two end up companions instead and head off on not-so-merry adventures.

Stewart wanders blank-faced through the film, mumbling her lines from the corner of her mouth and awkwardly pausing during conversations. Despite all her screen time, she has about as much actual dialogue as the seven dwarves. In an instant, she undergoes a laughable transformation from gentle princess to Joan of Arc. One minute, she’s petting furry animals in an enchanted forest, and the next, she’s leading a charging army and slashing at enemy soldiers.

The biggest attraction for many theatergoers was the stunning Theron’s portrayal of the evil queen. Whether bathing in an extravagant pool of pearly white milk or savagely draining the beauty from innocent maidens, Theron embodies Ravenna with a certain overblown madness, slowly sinking deeper into vain delirium.

In her best scenes, she plays off the classic mirror on the wall, a grandiose CGI creation oozing molten gold. Unfortunately, her overacting outshines moments of brilliance. Theron’s performance devolves into flat-out yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs. This is made worse by her noticeable disappearance from the middle chunk of the film and the fact that the sole explanation for the queen’s hateful malevolence is a confusing childhood flashback lasting all of 30 seconds.

While the film focuses on its dueling female leads, the best acting performances come from the huntsman and dwarves. Hemsworth brings compassion and a damaged intensity to his role. He wears the huntsman’s conflicted conscience on his sleeve, grappling with his wife’s death while exploring romantic feelings for Snow White. His acting easily outmatches Stewart’s, particularly in one touching scene where the huntsman gives her a kiss to return her to life.

The dwarves are a bunch of foul-mouthed thieves but endearing to watch. Their band is full of familiar faces, including Bob Hoskins, Ian McShane and Nick Frost, with cartoonish caricatures of their faces plopped onto miniature bodies. Their drinking and singing adds much-needed comic relief, and the group proves to be useful in a pinch for sneaking into enemy fortresses.

The film’s greatest achievement is still aesthetic – the creation of a harsh medieval world a la ‘Game of Thrones,’ full of shadowy landscapes, thrilling battle scenes and an especially menacing troll. Unfortunately, the plot revolves around a long, dragging journey with a quick, anticlimactic ending. The film is either boring or pointlessly violent, switching at a moment’s notice.

What could’ve been a clever modern adaptation is instead a bleak, vaguely amusing popcorn flick. It all comes back to Stewart, who fails abysmally at capturing the audience. On the bright side, at least she didn’t resort to biting her lip.

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Published on June 10, 2012 at 12:00 pm

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