It’s MayFest, which means it’s time to ‘slip and slide’all over campus. But wearing bikinis and speedos and getting lost in the thrill of the ‘fest can lead to overexposure.

Imagine people screaming, ‘There’s a spider on your leg!’ only to realize they’re scared of your wild pubic hair.

MayFest should be Lay-Fest for students, and there’s no reason why pubic hair should come out to play. Grooming our sex organs is a practice that’s been going on for centuries, and the options are endless.

While prostitutes in the Victorian era didn’t have ‘slip and slides’ at their garden parties, their pubic hair etiquette was very different, said Tamara Chock, an associate professor of communications who teaches COM 300: ‘Effects of Sex in the Media.’

‘Because of potential disease, lice and crabs, prostitutes used to shave their pubic hair. Artificial wigs called ‘merkins’ were worn instead of natural hair,’ Chock said.

Urban Dictionary warns not to confuse this medieval toupee with what you try to sing during the playing of ‘God Bless the USA’: something along the lines of, I’m proud to be a Merkin.

Though merkins have fallen out of fashion, there’s still huge pressure on women to know how they should groom. Just look at the newsstand. Magazines have the entire female population believing any visible body hair is a genetic mutation, with one of the only solutions being a Brazilian bikini wax. Carli Blau, a television, radio and film master’s student, agrees there’s a lot of unnecessary pressure.

‘No one wants to go into a forest when they can’t see what’s inside. I definitely think Brazilians and being bare down there are encouraged by Hollywood because it looks clean,’ Blau said. ‘But I think it’s a personal choice.’

Women may be under some pubic pressure, but the desire to ‘bare all’ is popular. Research by Indiana University in 2010 found nearly 60 percent of American women between 18 and 24 had almost completely naked labias.

The researchers at Indiana University also found that women who were completely bare are also more likely to be non-monogamous and have frequent oral sex.

And don’t go thinking men get off lightly. On April 12, Men’s Health asked more than 2,000 readers if they would get a ‘Boyzilian,’ the male equivalent of a Brazilian, or complete wax. Fifty-three percent of men said they would subject their ‘sack and crack’ to waxing, proving that in modern-day America even men get slated for suspicious looking spiders on their groin area.

Aside from creating penis-based optical illusions, trimming has become common male practice, and some men are very ‘territorial’ about their pubes.

‘I’ve heard about the craziest things. Like men shave their bellies below their belly button because that’s the ‘sex line’ that separates their stomach from their pubic region,’ Blau said.

But when it comes down to it, will pubic hair really affect your chances of sealing the deal? Blau doesn’t think so.

‘I do not know a single person that has said that pubic hair has ruined sex,’ she said. ‘It definitely wouldn’t ruin a sexual experience between two people. Hair is just that.’

So don’t worry. Looking like you have a misplaced tarantula isn’t a deal breaker. At the same time, don’t feel bad if your MayFest patriotism falls short of being or wearing a ‘merkin.’

Iona Holloway is a magazine journalism and psychology dual major. She’s definitely an ‘all off at all costs’ kind of girl. Her column appears every Wednesday. She can be reached at [email protected].

Published on April 24, 2012 at 12:00 pm