There are three reasons I can’t nap in class.

First, I don’t have any big lectures this semester. Second, I have too much respect for my lecturers this term. I know that’s uncool, but I think I’m actually learning stuff.  And third, I snore. But it’s not cute like, ‘Oh, look at my girlfriend. She’s snuffling like a little puppy. That’s five cute points added to her cute tally for today.’ My snoring could inadvertently drown out Block Party if I fell asleep in the Carrier Dome. It’s a problem.

Fortunately, my problem isn’t yours. According to the American Otolaryngology website, 25percent of the U.S. population snore in their beds, at their desks or against the wall for those sick people who can sleep standing up. For everyone else, and for those who don’t care if you sleep loudly, you are great candidates for doing ‘the nap’ in public. The other morning, I walked behind a girl on campus who told her friend, ‘I can’t wait to nap the sh*t out of the afternoon.’

Given that Spring Break is around the corner and deadlines are piling up, here are some tips for maximizing your productivity while enjoying down and dirty napping — maybe even in public.

1. According to the Siesta Awareness website, humans are biphasic: We naturally want to sleep twice in 24 hours, taking one long sleep and one short sleep. There’s more dispute about how long a nap should be than there is about Anderson Cooper’s sexuality. You may think you require a three-hour siesta, but Siesta Awareness says 20 minutes is all you need, even if you’re one-sixteenth Spanish.
2. All you need is food, sex and sleep to survive. The Online Psychology Degree website states you’ll die from starvation in 12 days, but from sleep deprivation in 10. If it’s a matter of life and death, does that mean I’m allowed to get crumbs on the bed sheets?
3. Let’s be real: all-nighters happen. Boost your performance and have a prophylactic nap, a short nap before expected sleep deprivation. PubMed research found brain performance was not affected when people had a ‘pro’ nap and then pulled one all-nighter. But one all-nighter too many builds up, according to Dani Arigo, a doctoral student at Syracuse University.

‘After several nights of little sleep, particularly over several weeks, we build up a sleep debt that is difficult, if not impossible, to make up,’ she said.

 It pays to sleep, my friends.

1. Surgically attached to a Starbucks cup? Enjoy what scientists call ‘the caffeine nap.’ The AARP website states that if you chug your coffee and then nap for 15 minutes, you wake up like a superhero. The caffeine nap is great halfway through those long road trips to get your laundry done by your mom, who lives in Washington, D.C.
2. View naps as a little gift to yourself. Brendan Murphy, a junior sociology major, treats himself to a nap every time he goes to Chili’s and eats the ‘2 for $20 meal’ on his own. His friend, Mason Leasure, a communication and rhetorical studies major, gets up for class every morning and then takes a nap instead of going to class. Two pointless but delicious naps.
3. Napping does come with a warning label. Research by the University of Birmingham found people who napped were 26 percent more likely to develop Type 2 Diabetes. The Diabetes link is most likely due to inconsistent sleep patterns and people napping instead of exercising. So make sure napping isn’t your part-time job. It’s not a strong addition to your internship resume.

And, finally, a little bit of nap trivia. Napoleon Bonaparte used to nap on his horse between battles. Napoleon by name, Nap-oleon by nature.

 

Iona Holloway is a magazine journalism  and psychology dual major. Her column appears every Wednesday. On her flight home to Scotland at the end of term, she regularly leaves drool deposits on passengers’ shoulders. She can be reached at [email protected].

Published on February 21, 2012 at 12:00 pm