When I was 15 years old, I made a promise to myself that I would go away to college and finally come out as queer. Now that I am a student at Syracuse University, I can confidently say I have fulfilled that promise. I am more comfortable talking about my sexuality and gender identity, I’m part of the campus’s LGBTQ+ magazine known as The OutCrowd, and I’m currently a columnist for The Daily Orange. It’s true when I say I am happier than I ever was in high school, but it would be wrong of me to assume that this has been the same experience for everyone.

Since coming out, I have been able to connect with many queer individuals across campus — all of whom have their own unique stories and experiences regarding their identities. The conversations I have taken part in, many of which are with people I am lucky to call my friends, have been eye-opening. They have shown me that despite having this one commonality of being queer, we are all incredibly different.

Allow me to explain by sharing a part of my own story. I grew up in a fairly open-minded family in New Jersey. I felt safe enough to come out to my family because we had always had open discussions about the LGBTQ+ community in my house. My younger brother and I were always encouraged to ask questions if we had any. With that being said, I was nervous to come out to anyone else until after my high school graduation because I was aware that not everyone would be as receptive.

These are experiences that have impacted my life and my life only. Not everyone can say they have had the same experience. Since coming to SU, I have met people who came out while still in high school, while others have had to grow up in environments where they did not feel
safe to come out at all. There are people who are only out as queer on campus and not at home, as well as those who have come out as one identity but fear to come out as another.

These differences are important to highlight when discussing the subject of “coming out,” as oftentimes the concept is perceived as having either a completely positive outcome or a completely negative one. The truth is, everyone is at different stages of the process; it is very rarely ever a one-and-done ordeal. Factors such as one’s comfortability with a certain group of people and how comfortable one is with themself are crucial to note while discussing such an important subject.

Not only will exploring these diverse experiences in modern media help normalize the coming out process as a whole, but the sharing of these diverse experiences will help those who have yet to come out feel seen and validated. Representation is important, and this is something that needs to be understood when outlets decide to cover queer stories. We may be a part of the same community, but by no means should it be assumed that we share the same home lives, schooling, religious practices or other factors.

The representation of varying experiences in media may not be the complete solution to how we talk about coming out as a society, but I really do think that it is a step in the right direction. So, to every queer person on this campus — whether you are completely out to the world, out to a few friends, not out at all, or are still learning about yourself — I want you to know that in this moment you are seen, and I hope one day queer representation expands to include stories such as yours.

Grace “Gray” Reed is a freshman magazine, news and digital journalism major. Their column appears bi-weekly. They can be reached at [email protected].

Published on March 1, 2022 at 10:13 pm