When I found out Culture Club was touring, I broke into a nervous sweat. Not because I had any plans to see them, of course — I just didn’t want anyone to somehow figure out my Spotify history. No one was ever supposed to know.

But now, I have a confession to make. I love bad ’80s pop. Not The English Beat. Not Queen. Not The Cure. Bad ’80s pop. Like, really bad ’80s pop. And it’s OK.

This whole thing technically started when I first heard, “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes, which was released in 1992. Technically 4 Non Blondes isn’t actually an ’80s band, but they were my gateway. The first few times I listened to the song, it was mostly in an attempt to be ironic — but then I started to dig it. The crazy hat, the big red mouth, the ridiculous lyrics. It struck something in me. Something dark.

It also led to the harder stuff: Jermaine Stewart’s “We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off,” Billy Ocean’s “Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car” and Culture Club’s “Karma Chameleon.”

The songs are filled with cheesy lyrics. The videos are over-the-top ridiculous homages to an era I never experienced and often do not hold up to the test of time. Some bands are mostly one hit wonders, and trying to explain to someone why I know every lyric to “Your Love” by The Outfield is not an experience I want to repeat. I also enjoy getting Rick Roll’d.

But I am not the only one that harbors a secret love. Every person who listens to music has something they hide in playlists, whether it’s the “High School Musical” soundtrack, Taylor Swift’s “1989” or German death metal. It’s not like you even listen to it constantly either, but occasionally you need to get your head in the game and chill out to the sweet musical stylings of Corbin Bleu.

But here’s the cool thing about guilty pleasures — it’s a musical “get out of jail free” card. No one is going to judge you for your embarrassing musical loves because everyone has one. Alice Cooper loves “My Sharona.” Marilyn Manson loves Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me a River,” There are pages and pages on the internet of people confessing their secret music loves.

Not everyone can listen to great music all the time. Great music is complicated, sometimes even exhausting. After all, if it is great, generally I am not half-listening to it. It’s got my full attention. We can’t constantly to be listening to the pinnacle of music all of the time.

So, embrace bad ’80s pop. Blast “High School Musical.” Revel in German death metal. It’s okay to love stuff that kind of sucks — in fact, it’s really, really fun.

And if you see in me with dark sunglasses at a Culture Club concert — I have no regrets.

Emera Riley is a sophomore magazine journalism major. Her column appears weekly in Pulp. You can email her at [email protected] or follow her on Twitter @emerariley.

Published on April 5, 2016 at 8:05 pm