They come out of nowhere: an uncontrollable series of little, embarrassing coughs. But they’re not coughs. You can tell by the way the victims’ mouths freeze in an upside down boomerang shape. Their eyes widen as they slowly come to terms with the fact that they’ve been hit with more hiccups than the recently released iPhone 5.

Will Watson, a senior communications and rhetorical studies major, experienced a classic case of hiccups while taking a test.

“It was real quiet. Then, hiccup,” Watson said with a laugh. “I tried to hold it in. … You know what they say to swallow the hiccup? But then I took a sip of water and spat it out on the person in front.”

I’ll return to Watson’s water technique later. Medically speaking, hiccups (or hiccoughs) are known as singultus or synchronous diaphragmatic flutter. It sounds complicated, but it’s not.

“A hiccup is a spasm of the diaphragm,” said Brad Black, a third-year medical student at the University of Louisville.

The diaphragm is a large muscle sheet separating the chest and abdominal cavity, according to WebMD. A diaphragm spasm forces you to take a breath your body is not anticipating, which is blocked as the vocal chords contract and the glottis, located in the middle of the larynx, shuts. And, well: hiccup.

There’s no hard-and-fast rule why your diaphragm starts jerking around, but it’s generally down to a minor upsetting of the stomach, according to WebMD. Drinking hot and then cold drinks can cause hiccups, as well as over-excitement, nerves and alcohol. Everyone’s been, or seen, a Little Miss Hiccup with her shoulders bopping up and down on a late night South Campus bus.

Overeating is also a major culprit.

“When I’m super full I get the hiccups, like every time,” said Danielle Chitkowski, a freshman undeclared major in the David B. Falk College of Sport and Human Dynamics.

While admittedly embarrassing, hiccups should disappear after a couple of hours. Bouts lasting longer than 48 hours are labeled “persistent,” and eventually “intractable” if they don’t hic off after a month. Intractable hiccups can lead to weight loss, insomnia and, in extreme cases, depression, WebMD warns.

The record for the longest-lasting case of hiccups goes to Charles Osborne, who had the hiccups nonstop for 68 years, according to Guinness World Records. His affliction was due to a burst blood vessel in the brain, but for more run-of-the-mill cases, there are thousands of potential cures out there.

When I was very young and stupid, my brother convinced me scraping the word “Dog” into my forehead with my fingernail would stop hiccups because I would be concentrating on “other things.” That’s why my brother’s an a**hole. My role reversed this week when I made my friend perform an impromptu how-to-drink-water-with-your-head-upside-down demo, after informing me she swore by the technique.

For those looking for more discrete solutions, Black has some sensible ideas.

“To get rid of them, personally, I take a deep breath, hold it and flex my abs while pressing out with them at the same time,” he said.

WebMD also recommends holding your breath for 10 seconds, eating a teaspoon of honey or drinking water quickly — just don’t pull a Watson and spit it on an unsuspecting student. Hypnosis can also be used for “intractable” cases. Doctors at the University of Rome have also conducted research on using a painkilling drug called nefopam with favorable results, ABC News reported in 2011.

Unfortunately, nefopam is not available in the United States, so in the interim, try out all “cures” apart from the “Dog”-inscribing technique. And men, beware: WebMD warns boys are more at risk of involuntary diaphragm spasms than Saturday night’s Little Miss Hiccup. That serves my brother right.

Iona Holloway is a senior magazine journalism and psychology dual major. She remembers when her sister was a baby and hiccupped on her shoulder. But the hiccup was actually puke. Email her at [email protected] or follow her on Twitter @ionaholloway.

Published on September 25, 2012 at 11:21 pm