For me, being in a fraternity means walking a fine line. On one side are my brothers, with whom I have some of the best times of my life, and on the other are my friends who can’t for the life of them figure out why I needed to join a fraternity in the first place.

Like so many of today’s issues, the problem is with misunderstanding. And as spring rush starts next week, freshmen and others will be asked to decide if they think Greek life is right for them. So for you, my friends on the latter, non-Greek side, let me drop some knowledge on you.

Rushing and pledging, two important and necessary steps toward joining a Greek organization, carry a lot of baggage. There are the stigmas as characterized by Greek stereotypes; the myths, especially surrounding hazing; the misunderstanding, such as the rationale around ‘paying for a social life;’ and finally the intrigue associated with the element of secrecy. I offer my ‘insider’ perspective then as a member of Acacia Fraternity.

In my experience, I hear the following all the time: ‘Why should I have to pay to have a social life?’ It’s a compelling question, sure, but it is not fair to use it to characterize the fraternity system. While potential pledges should consider the financial burden associated with joining, receipt of a social life should not be the only reason to do so. Honestly believing that a fraternity is more than a glorified social life, and I do, involves seeing incorporation as empowering positive change. An honest house by my definition pays back the financial obligations by offering a profound and unique experience to its members, or as it’s more commonly known, ‘brotherhood’ or ‘sisterhood.’

I know it sounds like a buzz word, but ‘brotherhood’ has a real meaning to me. People who view Greek relationships as shallow do not understand the full picture. I believe that a good fraternity is more analogous to a family than a friendship. Ignore the obvious biological differences, and ask why it makes sense to stay a part of a family. It is about being connected to something bigger than oneself.

It’s a popular belief that living in a residence hall teaches students a myriad of lessons in self-motivation, hygiene, sharing and playing nice with others. Fraternity and sorority life too can play a big part in extra-curricular education. Loyalty and obligation are concepts often associated with militaries and countries, but they play a big part in family life as well. Cemented by oaths instead of DNA, Greeks learn what it means to be ‘all in the same boat.’

Some point to the collectivity of fraternities and sororities as a negative, but joining does not mean losing your individual identity. As any student at Syracuse University should be able to tell you, stereotypes often have only minute representations in reality. If losing individuality is a legitimate fear, I question the millions who do just fine working in large corporations, worshipping major religions, and participating in the political process.

The Greek system today, however, is not without its faults, and in many ways all the houses share the burden of paying for past mistakes. Hazing is a serious matter, and houses that still do it hurt those that don’t. No oath of secrecy is a legitimate excuse for allowing torture to endure. There is, though, a movement to bring pledging into the 21st century, and it is not hard to sort out the houses that do from the houses that don’t. For the record though, Acacia does not, nor will we ever.

If I haven’t scared you away by now, let me emphasize above all that Greek life is fun. Forget the ‘advantages’ in networking, something that every fraternity brother or sorority sister should agree on is that there is a lot of fun to be had. The critics just don’t know what they are missing.

Ben Peskin is featured columnist whose columns appear weekly in The Daily Orange. E-mail him at [email protected].

Read Zac Cummings’ take on Greek life, also in Opinion section.

Published on January 31, 2007 at 12:00 pm