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Editor’s Note: This story contains details of sexual assault and relationship violence.

Kimberely Ng has heard countless people ask why she’s “still not over” her sexual assault.

“Here is something I wish I was told four years ago,” said Ng, who was sexually assaulted for the first time at age 7. “Healing is not a linear process, nor does it fit into a set timeline.”

Ng, a Syracuse University senior and a member of the Take Back the Night planning committee, spoke about her experience at this year’s Take Back the Night rally, which was streamed virtually from Hendricks Chapel.

Speakers and organizers at the event discussed the obstacles that make it challenging for survivors to report their assault and called on SU students to uplift survivors, who often grapple with the mental effects of their assault in silence.

College campuses across the country hold Take Back the Night rallies annually to bring attention to sexual and relationship violence. This is the second year that SU has held the rally virtually.

“While much has changed over the last year and much will change in the year ahead, we can rest assured that, together, we will continue to support one another, no matter who you are, no matter where you are,” said Brian Konkol, dean of Hendricks Chapel, in his opening remarks.

Survivors are often unsure of whether what happened to them was assault, Ng said. Since her assault occurred at a young age, she couldn’t come to terms with it until many years later, she said.

“For me to begin my healing process, I had to acknowledge what had happened to me, and I mean from the very beginning of it,” Ng said.

At SU, 95% of students don’t report their sexual assault, according to data spanning several years.

“Society expects us to know how to ask for help and how to behave when certain events occur,” Ng said. “They question survivors and why they didn’t know what happened to them right away, blaming them for their actions or inactions.”

Approximately 23% of female and 5% of male college students report having been sexually assaulted, said Jillian Scheer, an assistant professor of psychology at SU and the rally’s keynote speaker.

Scheer specifically noted the serious mental health impact of sexual assault, including that survivors of sexual assalt are 13 times more likely to attempt suicide than the general population. Survivors may also deny their assault happened to protect themselves from the mental burden of doing so, Scheer said.

Virtual attendees shared how they would “Take Back the Night” and responses were displayed after the event. Screenshot

“Sometimes, we intentionally forget how bad it was or could be,” Scheer said. “Sometimes, we do not want to give abusers the power of knowing their violence affects us.”

A video performance from Peer Educators Encouraging Healthy Relationships, a student group based out of the Barnes Center at The Arch, focused on the topic of consent and coercion.

In the performance, students gave monologues of scenarios in which survivors grappled with the confusion of what had happened or denied to themselves that they were assaulted.

The performance demonstrated how survivors might feel alone or unsure of what to do after experiencing sexual assault.

“Often, after they have experienced something traumatic, people feel they might be overreacting,” one of the performers said.

People who experience sexual violence may suffer both short-and long-term effects, including shame, regret and embarrassment, which can lead to depression and isolation, one performer in the video said. Ng said she still experiences panic attacks and has a hard time sleeping some nights.

Students need to be proactive bystanders who speak up and intervene when they see something isn’t right, said Sheila Johnson-Willis, SU’s Title IX officer. It’s important to acknowledge that, because of fear and safety concerns, many survivors don’t speak up about their assault, she said.

“To be Orange is to take care of our community and not to remain silent when something is not right,” Johnson-Willis said.

SU has made significant efforts in combating sexual and relationship violence, Johnson-Willis said, citing the Chancellor’s Task Force on Sexual and Relationship Violence.

“Take Back the Night is designed to unite us in purpose, but our commitment must extend beyond tonight,” Johnson-Willis said.

Johnson-Willis notioned to decorative stars hanging around the chapel. The stars were created by students over the past three years with messages about how they will “Take Back the Night.”

“Each of these stars is more than just a decoration,” Johnson-Willis said. “It is an individual promise from a member of our campus community about how they will work everyday toward ending interpersonal violence.”

The Clothesline Display, a project in which survivors of sexual assault, relationship violence and other forms of interpersonal violence decorated T-shirts to share their experience, will also be on display in the Schine Student Center until Sunday.

The virtual event closed with photos of past rallies displayed on screen along with text of various ways attendees said they would “Take Back the Night.”

“And here’s the other thing about healing: Not only is it not linear, but it is a roller coaster ride,” Ng said. “It is important to be supportive without questioning their experiences and trauma. If you take anything away from my remarks today, remember to be supportive of each other while some of us heal.”

Published on March 31, 2021 at 10:49 pm

Contact Sarah: [email protected] | @sarahalessan