Tuition at Syracuse University is pretty high — which we are reminded of every day as we walk down the $6 million promenade. You’d think considering the ocean of loans that SU students will drunkenly swim in after graduation, we’d be cautious about our expenditures.

Well, you thought wrong. Take a look at these recent statistics to wrap your mind around how hard it is for us to stop spending money:

Marshall Street Shops: 1 point

SU Students: 0 points

SU students’ bank accounts: -$60,000

So now you must be thinking: “We’re almost doing as bad as Clemson in Friday’s game, #GoOrange, how can we get better?”

Well, think no more, folks, because I have some solutions. Below are the top three things SU students waste their money on and how they can stop indulging.

No. 1: Alcohol

Despite how regularly we drink it, many students often forget about the price of alcohol when planning their budgets. At a party school like SU, the cost of it can add up quickly.

But alcohol is a necessity here. Otherwise, we’d all just be standing in overcrowded rooms where the music is too loud and the temperature is similar to that of a sauna.

So, we must spend our money wisely on the alcohol we’ll consume. This means none of that flavored stuff that actually tastes kind of good. No, you’re going to start drinking plain Burnett’s Vodka, and you’re going to like it.

No. 2: Food

Whether it’s Grubhub, Bleu Monkey Cafe or drunken Calios, probably about half our money is spent on food we don’t need or will regret later.

Usually, when a student soberly buys unnecessary food, it is toward the end of what was generally a stressful week. Around dinner time, said student will be sitting in their dorm room finishing up a paper. A feeling of hunger will present itself, and the student, exhausted after all the work they’ve completed, will ponder whether they should make the dreaded 5-minute walk to the dining hall, where they will consume a mediocre meal.

After several minutes of contemplation, a voice will pop into the student’s head saying, “You’ve worked so hard this week. You deserve to treat yourself with some gourmet Bleu Monkey sushi. Go on, order it now. You’ve earned this.”

My advice to you is to not listen to this voice. It is the devil himself — he has traveled inside your head and wants you to spend too much money on an assortment of raw fish.

Plus, you’ve probably already spent money on a meal plan, which is overpriced in itself. So, next time you feel the urge to get some sushi from Bleu Monkey or snacks from GoPuff, put on your bulkiest sweatshirt and some pants with nice, deep pockets and stock up on bananas and perhaps a loaf of bread from good ol’ Ernie Davis Dining Hall!

No. 3: Venmo

Hold on tight because guess what: Venmo money is real money. I repeat: Venmo money is real. It’s not Monopoly money. It’s actual money that will come out of your bank account. So next time your friend’s getting food and you say “I’ll just Venmo you,” or you Venmo some sketchy guy $20 for “leaf emoji,” think twice, because, as I said earlier, it’s real money.

Annabeth Grace Mann is a sophomore film major. Her column appears biweekly. She can be reached at [email protected].

Published on October 17, 2017 at 11:44 pm