election humor

Area moms worried Trump presidency will affect daily life

Unprompted by any questions, local mom Mrs. Miller asked, “Is he going to grab me?”

Tammy Miller, a mother of three, lives in a nearby suburb and sat down with me, and multiple glasses of pinot noir, to discuss her thoughts on the 2016 presidential election.

Many Americans worry President-elect Donald Trump will negatively affect the nation, but Tammy is worried that a Trump presidency, or Donald Trump himself, will do things to negatively affect her life. But why would the president focus on her specifically?

“He’s a maniac, he just, I can’t even talk about it. My book club, well it’s more of a wine and cheese club, we were all in disbelief when it happened. We didn’t even discuss the first chapter last week like we usually do. We just went straight to the wine,” she said.

I pushed the soccer mom to answer a question directly, unlike the politicians she despises. I questioned how a president’s overarching policies could make an impact in her daily life.

“He’s now going to be the most powerful man in the world. Obama created Obamacare, think about what Trumpcare would look like. Will I still be able to get my foot cream and Xanax over the counter? He’ll probably encourage euthanasia for everyone in the hospital,” Miller said.

As the interview proceeded in Mrs. Miller’s living room with “Dance Moms” paused on TiVo in the background, multiple bottles of wine were consumed, but in my hour and 15 minutes there, Mrs. Miller and I discussed zero facts. General questions about how her life would continue to run dominated conversation.

“How am I supposed to pick my kids up from school every day? Please name someone who can honestly say that it will be the same. I bet you can’t,” she said.

Miller continued on, “Let’s think about all the powers that the president has. One of my biggest concerns is that Trump will be the commander-in-chief.”

And while it might concern many mothers that there is a possibility that their children could be drafted into the military and sent to war, that was not the concern of Tammy Miller.

“Will the military just take over from the police? If I get pulled over again for a speeding ticket, will it be a tank next time? What if they need to do an inspection on my house or something? They better not raid my house, because I have a ton of stolen utensils from HomeGoods in here.”

Why wouldn’t Tammy be concerned that Donald Trump will directly impact her life? She’s bought his vodka, bought his steaks, stayed in his hotel and bought more of his vodka afterwards. It’s understandable she feels cheated by Donald Trump in her personal life. Once you put someone’s meat in your mouth, it can make a huge impact on your life.

There were a ton of things that Tammy thought would affect her. Everything from whether or not her paycheck would be delivered to her if there was any way the Egyptian plagues would return.

As a parting note, I asked Tammy what she expects from a Trump presidency, or really any presidency.

“I just want to be left alone. Trump, just do what all the other presidents have done, and don’t really do anything noticeable,” she said.

Josh Feinblatt is a sophomore television, radio, and film major. His column can be found weekly in Pulp. He can be reached at jfeinbla@syr.edu.

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