Ever wonder how Hillary Clinton gets that same pantsuit she wears to all of her events? Have you questioned why she wears the same exact thing all the time, just like a cartoon character? Months, even years, of hard work can go into preparing a candidate to run for president. Making pantsuits for that candidate can take just as long.

Deep in the valleys of the Italian-American countryside sits a manor on top of a hill. Yes, a smaller hill inside a bigger valley is where the weaving hands of Georgie Maraschino create the pantsuits you see on America’s most ambiguously dressed woman. Are they pants, or are they suits?

Maraschino is only 42 years old, but he looks like a grandma who lost her patience a few months ago. He began making pantsuits only a few years ago after he saw a video on YouTube that showed him how to sew. Many actors, fashion icons and world leaders have asked him to sew different garments for them, but Maraschino has rejected every single one.

“It’s very humbling to get all these famous people with power and influence asking me to make them gowns, but I have to say no only because I only know how to make pantsuits,” he said.

The pantsuit peaked in popularity in 1994, and along with the fanny pack, enjoyed great success during the month of May. After that, the fad was over.

“Hillary Clinton is bringing that fad back,” Maraschino repeated to himself in a convincing tone.

The facts seem to support it. Ever since Clinton started wearing pantsuits on the campaign trail, the number of pantsuit wearers doubled globally. The other person wearing them is Maraschino’s second client.

“I’ve only had two customers in my career, and they both happen to be world leaders,”  Maraschino said.

He declined to name his other customer because he “wants to respect the laws” of that world leader’s country. But a quick Google search of Maraschino’s name returns results including a picture of Maraschino with the president of North Korea, Kim Jong-un.

The picture also includes Maraschino holding a sign reading, “I sewed that, so I am thereby associated with him,” with an arrow pointed at the dictator.

“Hillary and Kim have very similar body types. If I didn’t know better, I would guess that  they’re the same person. Wait, hold on a second, I’ve never seen them at the same place at the same time,” Maraschino thought out loud.

While many things can be said about the world-class designer/sewer, one cannot say he rushes his craft. Maraschino started making Hillary her current batch of pantsuits back when she lost the 2008 Democratic primary. Since then, Maraschino has created nine suits. Clinton has worn three of them and washed them twice.

“Each suit takes about two months. First I take a long piece of string, like really long, and I start my first stitches. It takes about five days of sewing, three day trips to the beach, and about fifty days of watching a Harry Potter movie marathon,” Maraschino says as he brings us through his process.

“Could I create more suits in a shorter amount of time? Yes. But, because they seem like they’re so hard to make, I let Hillary think that there’s a high demand, meaning she, and others, will pay much higher prices. To be honest, I think I would sell these things for $5.”

Maraschino said Clinton always wants the pantsuits because they’re the “jumpsuits of looking presentable.”

“When you’re voting for a president, do you want the person who has to put on pants in the middle of the night after being awoken for an international conflict, or would you prefer the woman who can take control right after she slides off of her bed and straight into her pantsuit?” Maraschino raised the issue we should all consider while casting our votes this November.

In the end, it all comes down to influence, and the question is: will a pantsuit make or break this election for Hillary? Maybe. Who knows at this point? Georgie Maraschino has already won Kim Jong-un’s election, and in his mind, he plans to influence this one just as much.

Josh Feinblatt is a sophomore television, radio, film major. He believes the pantsuit is the next snuggie. You can follow him on Twitter @josh_is_fein or reach him at [email protected].

 

Published on September 7, 2016 at 9:16 pm