Sex and Health

Making embarrassing sexual mistakes is a part of life

The author Earl Nightingale once said, Our attitude towards life doesn’t affect the world and the people in it, nearly as much as it affects us.”

To me, this quote is about perspective: the way we view our interactions with the world, our successes and our failures. The power perspective has on an individual’s happiness and success is real, and to demonstrate, I will share with you an embarrassing tale of my freshman year.

Towards the end of my first semester freshman year, a bunch of friends and I were celebrating the end of the term. We were intoxicated. When I arrived home at 1:00 a.m., I violated an essential, unwritten rule of college life — never touch your phone after 9:00 p.m., especially if you are intoxicated.

Ignoring this cardinal rule, I picked up my phone and saw a Snapchat from an ex-girlfriend of mine. I opened it saw her nakedness in its full-blown glory. Now, as an intoxicated, hormone-raged young male, I decided to do the only thing that made sense at the time: send a Snapchat back. I went into the bathroom, put on some shades (because I guess that would conceal my identity) and in my full nakedness proceeded to record a Snapchat of myself dancing proactively, in shades, to an old R&B tune.

Moments later, I received four text messages, all saying “I do not think you meant to put that on your MyStory.”  In that moment, I sobered up instantly, and witnessed the horror. 33 people, including friends, family and ex-girlfriends, all witnessed me dancing in a pair of shades, completely naked.



I immediately took it down and put up an apology.  Throughout next few days, I received texts ranging from ridicule to pure comedy; family members scowling me and friends asking me how much I charge for the night.  I did not want to leave my house for fear of encountering someone that witnessed my moment of video burlesque.

However, a few days later an acquaintance of mine, who is a photographer, asked if she could do a nude photoshoot of me. Jokingly, I said yes, hoping overcome the awkwardness of the question. Three days later, on a Friday afternoon, I showed up to Newhouse. To my surprise, there was a full crew with lights and a backdrop waiting to shoot me naked.  At this point, I asked the photographer why she wanted to do the shoot.

She explained that the purpose was to display the human body, and to encourage people to love themselves and the skin they are in. She said that I showed great confidence when I put up that embarrassing, erotic dance on Snapchat

I was struck with feelings of bewilderment and pride. The last thing I imagined was that my embarrassment could serve as a source of inspiration. I did the shoot, and even got some friends to do the shoot as well.  The photos taken that Friday afternoon eventually helped the photographer land an internship in New York City.

You see, we are our own greatest critics. Though I acknowledge my mistake, letting it consume me only made me feel as if I were walking around naked on campus every day. I took the opportunity to use my experience for a greater purpose. Now when I see those who saw the Snapchat, I feel relieved. They saw me naked; what else could I really hide from them? I felt free to be myself.

As an upperclassman, I have since become acclimated to making mistakes, so this lesson is for the young and impressionable among us: the freshmen. I urge you this year to make mistakes, because they are inevitable. It is up to the individual to decide whether they will let their mistakes consume them or whether one will use their mistakes as a platform for personal growth. Understand a mistake is nothing more than a spotlight, for one of the few times in an individual’s life all eyes are on them. Now get up and show everyone that nothing can stop you from being the amazing individual that you are.





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