Ducks

Duck: Delaney Van Wey

Asst. Feature Web Editor | Fall 2015; Asst. News Web Editor | Spring 2016

I’m mostly writing one of these things in case the apocalypse happens while I’m in Santiago next semester and I’m too busy fighting the zombies or whatever to come back to The D.O. Because I’m addicted to this place. I’m addicted to the energy, the passion, the laughter. All I know is two semesters is not enough, no matter how stressful it is. Really, our lives would be so much easier — and less rewarding — without this crazy paper.

I have a hard time picking specific people to give a shoutout to in 700 words because you are all incredible and the most hardworking kids on this campus. But here goes nothing (in no real order):

Sara Swann: You are an amazing person and a killer editor. I’m also glad to call you a friend. You turned so much of my crap stories freshman year into something sort-of printable. I was convinced you were a sophomore the entire year, by the way. Thanks for being so encouraging during all of those A reads. You’re going to make a kick-ass news editor and I hope I can work with you again.

Brett: I read your duck before this and cried, so that’s my mentality right now. You did my first-ever read with me, and I won’t lie, you scared the crap out of me. And said my lede was sh*t. But I’ve since seen how encouraging you are, as well as demanding. I wish I could have worked under you when you were news editor.

Jacob: Thank you so, so much for calling me that night in April during our freshman year to tell me I got the copy editor position. I almost lost it. I was nervous to balance The D.O. with everything else, but you were a fantastic feature editor and I still miss our Pulp staff. You never fail to put a smile on my face, mostly with your idiotic antics. You were made for web — excuse me, “digital” — editor and I cannot wait to see what you do while I’m fumbling through my life in Chile.



Jesse: When you called me in August two weeks before classes started to convince me to join the web team, I didn’t know what to expect. I had no real “web” skills, but I’m so glad I said yes. I don’t think you had too many “web” skills either (thanks Jon), but you had the spirit of a leader and kept us on track enough to make a difference at the paper. I hope you check in on the bounce rate once or twice after you graduate and go on to do amazing things because you’re a Grade-A writer, too.

Jon: You’re brilliant and I wish I could absorb everything you know; what about that web workshop? But you deserve this demotion. Go do what you love — Writing about people playing with balls? But make sure you keep teaching the web team, because I think they can still use your knowledge.

Justin, Mara, Chloe: Thanks for being strong leaders and good people. I don’t think I understand any of your jobs very well, but I appreciate all the hard work you do to keep the paper functioning. Also, thanks for all the Girl’s Nights, Mara and Chloe.

Alex, Kat, Rachel, Archie (and Jacob): You guys made coming into the house enjoyable. We had good times and a lot of laughs. I’m still salty about the orgy thing, though, Jacob. I think you’re all brilliant, and I am still proud of us. Thanks for guiding me through my first A1 and a brand-new position.

Alexa, Michael, Rachel, Brigid, Satoshi (and Sara): We had chemistry as a News staff. I think it was hard for me to break into the club at first, because you were used to Jon, but I’m so glad I finally did. You guys distracted me almost constantly, but we had such good conversations and the paper still got printed so who cares. You are all so freaking fantastic that I cannot adequately explain it in this word count. Thanks for being my home away from home. I cannot wait to work with all of you again.





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