With leftovers refrigerated, wine bottles recycled and your uncle’s arguments for second amendment rights drifting harmlessly down memory lane, Thanksgiving break is winding down for SU students all across the country.

Now as students are forced to consider their plans for the rest of break, expectations of well-deserved relaxation are peppered with crippling anxiety over the unwieldy body of work that threatens to consume the very fabric of their being upon their return to Syracuse this weekend. Many students have elected to begin tackling finals week while still enjoying the benefits of a well-stocked fridge and two ply toilet paper.

Those who don’t accomplish anything over the break can look forward to Regretsgiving, the holiday celebrated immediately following Thanksgiving when students lament not getting anything done over Thanksgiving break. Whereas Thanksgiving is celebrated around the dinner table with friends, family and turkey, Regretsgiving is celebrated around a table in the basement of Bird Library with your group project partners and a bottle of Dasani water from the vending machines.

The brave minority who anticipate accomplishing something over Thanksgiving break and avoiding Regretsgiving face a long, uphill battle whose gradient is determined by requests to vacuum the first floor, needy younger siblings and the allure of the big TV in the basement. These obstacles are a challenge, though not unconquerable.

For the best results over Thanksgiving break, many try to imitate the conditions of our beloved Bird Library, the wellspring of academic achievement at Syracuse University. This can involve any number of things, ranging from wandering around the house for 20 minutes finding a place to sit, to asking your dad if he has any gum.

Many Bird purists go as far as asking someone they know to pass by them every 15 minutes, ask them if they’re going out and then defend their honor when they get made fun of for answering, “No.”

Everyone who is honest with themselves will note that not getting anything done at home is the truest imitation of life at Syracuse and can find the beauty in Regretsgiving season. So while we’re home we might as well embrace it, complain about eating more turkey and take full advantage of the big TV in the basement. Everyone can reunite for Regretsgiving celebrations at the real Bird Library at 2 a.m. on Sunday. I’ll bring the gum.

Evan Hohenwarter is a senior advertising major who is almost as modest as he is handsome. He can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter at @evanhohmbre.

Published on November 27, 2015 at 2:47 pm