If you are a college-aged virgin, you are a minority.

According to The Atlantic, the average American loses his or her virginity at the age of 17. Between ages 20–24, only 12.3 percent of females and 14.3 percent of males are still virgins. After 25, the number drops to below five percent for both men and women.

The concept of virginity is reinforced by patriarchy. For women, virginity is this treasured gift. It symbolizes transitioning from girlhood to womanhood, and the moment of losing it can be overhyped and sensationalized.

A study conducted at the University of Texas at Austin showed that students who lost their virginity at 20 or older had more satisfying romantic relationships than those who lost their virginity at a younger age.

Tradition says you need to be in love and save it for somebody special. If a girl loses it during a one-night stand, she should just wear a scarlet ‘A’ for the rest of eternity.

There is such an emphasis placed on a woman’s first sexual experience. Women “lose” virginity, but men “take” virginity.

For men, virginity holds no importance as dictated by popular culture. They are encouraged to lose it as soon as possible to claim their manhood, to have something to brag about while in the locker room. Even though statistically more men are college virgins than women, they are much less likely to admit it. For men, admitting virgin status would be equivalent to waving a white flag to masculinity.

Though I think the concept of virginity is overrated for women and underrated for men, it still remains a very personal choice. Regardless if someone wants to wait for his or her true love or wants to lose it in a drunken stupor, losing one’s virginity is a personal decision.

The problem is that society is sending mixed messages to young people. Women are constantly having to choose between the innocence and purity of being a virgin versus the sophistication and maturity of a vixen, sex-goddess. Essentially, the label of “virgin” is just a method of categorizing people based on sexual experiences.

People have different reasons for holding out. Dr. Stephen Snyder, a sex therapist in New York City, told The Atlantic that his male patients who are virgins later in life are plagued from shyness or anxiety about their bodies

Clearly, both men and women feel pressure — even though it is starkly opposite for each gender.

I do not think it is about being a certain age or comparing personal sexual milestones against those of your friends. I think that people reach their own maturity levels at different ages and statistics in regard to virginity loss can actually hinder young people’s views on sex.

Even though in what seems like 99 percent of all facets of life men and the patriarchy dominate, in the discussion of college-aged virgins, women endure less societal backlash. Women are almost never berated for being virgins whereas male virgins are constantly pressured to “slay b*tches.”

A U.S. researcher told United Press International that the media is drowning young people with so much sexuality that they feel pressured to be sexually active. For those who want to wait, it can be difficult dealing with the pressure that comes with going against the status quo.

Especially in our “hookup culture,” it can be hard for virgins who want a meaningful first sexual experience to find one. Dating seems as rare as one-night stands are commonplace.

By all means, sleep at the frat house. Do a walk of shame in the morning. But only participate in sexual acts in which you feel comfortable and not because you are caving to media pressure.

Meg Zukin is a freshman television, radio and film major. Her column appears every Wednesday in Pulp. Email her at [email protected] and follow her on Twitter at @margaretTZukin. 

Published on April 16, 2014 at 1:00 am