Sometimes, when you go out for a night on the town, you don’t end up sleeping in your own bed. So on the morning after, you might be lucky enough to have breakfast in bed — or you might be seen schlepping back home on Walnut Avenue, still wearing your evening best.

Ladies, you must assess the situation — and sneakily prepare for an impromptu sleepover.

First things first, bring a condom. You can’t always count on the guy to be prepared, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Always pack mints or gum. This is obvious, and likely doesn’t leave your bag ever, so also consider packing toothbrushes — the kind with built-in toothpaste like Crest Wisps. These are small, compact and easy to tuck into a side pocket of your purse.

Try packing face wipes. They’re small, compact and do epic duty to clean up anything. If you’re looking to wash your face, you never know how often people wash their towels. So, at the very least, you can remove some leftover eyeliner from the night before with face wipes. Also, wear hair ties on your wrist so you can put your hair up while you’re at it.

What you bring out with you the night before — a small vial of perfume or lip gloss — can work wonders in the a.m. as well. And to my contacts-wearing girls: bring an extra pair, or pack your eyeglasses. At the absolute minimum, bring eye drops and the carrying case filled with clean solution. Red puffy eyes aren’t exactly bedroom eyes.

By the way, having your best friend’s phone number memorized — or at least on a sheet of paper in your wallet — is never a bad thing in any given situation.

But the most important item in your shack pack is awareness and, yes, confidence. Following any encounter, flirty or physical, the next day is often a web of positive affirmation, freaking out and will-he-call nonsense.

Figuring out someone’s feelings can feel like scaling a mountain. What if he is very hung over? (Leave). What if he’s cuddling with you? (He likes you. Or, he wants you to stay, but possibly just for morning sex). What if he’s kissing you before you’ve even gotten out of bed to freshen up? (He likes you a lot; you should definitely stay). What if his back is to you and he’s barely talking? (Leave).

Whatever happens, smile and be happy and friendly. Always assess the situation; if it was a random sleepover, it’s not a terrible idea to get out of there as fast as you can. If your night together was a long time coming, read him out. And remember — there’s no need to play games. He was drawn to you for a reason.

But a little mystery never hurt anyone. Never overstay your welcome, no matter the circumstances.

If you really like him, it’s probably best not to literally run. If you don’t care to see him again, leave quickly and do the best thing about weekend mornings: brunch with the girls and laughter about the mistakes you made, or — more likely — the cluelessness of the dude, and how awkward his texts will be in the upcoming days.

Jillian Thaw is a magazine, newspaper and online journalism master’s student. Her column appears every Wednesday in Pulp. Her “shack pack” is a bright orange gym bag twice her size; inside you’ll find three different kinds of athletic shoes and some shin guards. You can email her at [email protected] and follow her on Twitter @jathaw.

Published on October 2, 2013 at 1:08 am