The challenge of deciphering text in little thought bubbles on a touch screen is an art form in and of itself, but there’s one text that is always crystal clear: the booty call.

A booty-call text can include any of the following: “hey u,” “Heyyyyyyy,” “Hey how was ur day,” “I had a long day but im up for stayin in and still hangin out…” “Wat r u doin 2nite?” “Wanna watch a movie?”

The list goes on. It just depends on the timing.

If you receive one of these texts after 10 p.m., it’s a booty call. If it’s earlier in the night, he or she is willing to butter you up first, but the end message is the same: “Hey, I’d like for you to stay over tonight. And while I may not directly be saying that, my time stamp on this text message is.”

The “gray area” falls between 9–10 p.m. A message sent during this time frame can go either way (he or she might like you and is being awkward about it, or he or she is a slightly more courteous booty caller). The “gray area” is always frustrating, so be mindful of responding to texts during this hour. You never know the emotions that might emerge, and it’s best to avoid a situation that could be emotionally difficult.

But what’s the protocol for answering such text messages? If you’re charting new territory, there are a few things to keep in mind.

First of all, it’s always OK — and never rude — to ignore that late-night text or call. It’s also OK to say yes to the booty text, provided you know where the sender stands. We all have a natural desire to act on sexual urges, and if you have found someone you are attracted to and that’s what you want, then by all means, proceed.

The important thing to consider when answering a booty call is that you are absolutely clear about the parameters you are setting.

Be honest with yourself. What’s to say that the “booty call” can’t lead to something more if that’s what you’re looking for? But remember, those success stories are exceptions. Make sure you’re taking a step back from time to time and evaluating what you want out of the relationship.

Don’t constantly bug your friend-with-benefits: he or she may be busy, asleep, working or spending time with friends — or someone else — and you can’t be upset about that. But if he or she is ready to go, continue on.

If you’re a boy, you’ll probably head on over by yourself, and if you’re a girl, you can probably sway the guy into picking you up. In the lead-up, relax and laugh: you’re already friends and comfortable with each other. Watch a movie you won’t actually pay attention to and go from there. Get a feel for the situation to determine how long you — or your booty call — can stay: sometimes it’s a sleepover while other times it’s just some time spent together in the early morning hours.

The booty call or text is about a mutually beneficial relationship. If someone isn’t getting what he or she wants from it — whether by ignoring the text from the start or ending the hook-up for whatever reason — then it’s easy enough to come to a stop, relish the experience and move on. And there’s no shame in any indulgence.

Jillian is a magazine, newspaper, and online journalism graduate student. Her column appears every Wednesday in Pulp. She would appreciate absolutely no same-night hanging-out inquiries after 4:00 p.m. at the very latest. Email her at [email protected] and follow her on Twitter @jathaw.

Published on October 15, 2013 at 10:08 pm