When my nose started running during a rainy bike ride last week, I realized fall was indeed falling on my head.

I’m a Brit. We call fall “autumn” over the pond. But according to the blog of Ben Yagoda, professor of English at the University of Delaware, “Not One-Off Britishisms,” British colloquialisms will be kicking around in the States long after my student visa expires. So in honor of the English language, here’s an A-to-Z rundown on surviving the cold snap.

A for Adenalgia: Gland swelling. Watch out for mononucleosis, or “the kissing disease.” A raw throat and swollen lymph nodes are standard symptoms.

B for Bactericide: Bacteria killer. Disinfectant wipes are important if you’ve been blowing your nose on your pet toilet roll for a week.

C for Carpophagous: Fruit eating. The whole “five-a-day” thing might be an arbitrary stat, but seriously, the more the better.

D for Diestrus: A period of sexual inactivity. Hop on a fellow sufferer and keep each other warm.

E for Ebriection: A breakdown from drinking too much alcohol, generally accompanied by ergophobia: a fear of work. Get a grip. I spy midterms on the horizon.

F for Furfur: Dandruff. Go invest in some Head & Shoulders if your scalp’s snowing on you.

G for Galactophagist: Milk drinker. It’s full of vitamin A and potassium to keep “furfur” at bay, according to the Got Milk website.

H for Hydrophilous: Water loving. Drinking H2O cannot be underestimated in the cold. Shoot for two liters a day.

I for Iatrophobia: A fear of going to the doctor. Don’t be a hypochondriac, but if you’re not feeling well, go to Health Services.

J for Jargonelle: An early pear. This cute little fruit’s right in season.

K for Kakidrosis: Body odor. B.O. is caused by stale sweat, so throw your clothes in the laundry once in a while.

L for Lygophilia: Love of the dark. Good job: You picked Syracuse. There’s less sunlight around, but don’t succumb to Seasonal Affective Disorder. Find sun somewhere.

M for Mabble: To wrap up. Make sure to keep your extremities under cover, unless you’ve got a good reason not to.

N for Nebulaphobia: Fear of fog. Don’t make the roads scarier than they need to be. Give your car a health checkup.

O for Onychophagist: Nail biting. Cut, don’t bite. Longer fingernails harbor dirt that can spread infections, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warns.

P for Paizogony: Foreplay. According to a recent Playboy magazine poll, Syracuse has the sixth best sex in the nation. Time to live up to the stats if the cold weather’s making you a bit limp.

Q for Quarrenden: Dark red apple. Go pick your own.

R for Rack-rent: Excessive rent payment. If your landlord’s ignoring the biology experiment growing on your window and freezing you to death, make sure you know your rights.

S for Steatopygous: Fat-buttocked. Wearing extra layers doesn’t mean you have to grow layers of your own.

T for Ticking: Cover of a mattress. If you had a cold recently, don’t roll around in disease. Wash it.

U for Ulcuscle: Canker sore. Sores can be brought on by stress, according to the Mayo Clinic website, so just keep calm and carry on.

V for Vegetivorous: Eating veggies. Broccoli, carrots and cauliflower are in season.

W for Wittol: A man aware his woman is cheating but does nothing. Did your balls freeze off? Kick that chick to the curb.

X for Xeransis: Drying up. Sudden changes in temperature dry the skin out. WebMD suggests going mad with moisturizer.

Y for Yapness: Hunger. Biology means our body hankers down for winter and you may feel hungrier. Avoid overeating but don’t forget:

Z for Zakuska: A snack. Snacks level blood sugar and stop you from eating a meal every hour as it gets colder.

Iona Holloway is a senior magazine and psychology dual major. Her column appears every Wednesday. She can be reached at [email protected].

Published on October 2, 2012 at 11:39 pm